It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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