she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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