A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
