Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
