I think I died a long time ago.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize