I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
