he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
