just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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