i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize