Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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