ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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