You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
