im six kinds of drunk right now
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
