you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
