Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
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Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
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you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep