Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time

(1-309): View more from Illinois

I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(817): View more from Texas

When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.

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(949): View more from California

you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?

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(810): View more from Michigan

Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?

(1-810): View more from Michigan

A safari of penis I hurt to the core

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(804): View more from Virginia

I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants

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