"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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