There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Who died my cat blue again?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
