He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
