That's intense
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
