You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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