some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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