a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
ttyl tear gas
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
