some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize