I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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