plz talk dirty to me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
