Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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