look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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