just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
