u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
