I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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