Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Randomize
