This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
