You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
