I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
