quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
