she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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