hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Everyone says I win the strip club
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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