You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
