In the future we'll all be gay
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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