Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
