Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
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I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
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Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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