I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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