This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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