K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I want her autograph on my taint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize