I'm jealous of your bromance
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
so much tequila, so little girl.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
