Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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