I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
