Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
