I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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