I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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