just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
