I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
