Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
