Buhtt sex?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
