Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
