Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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