"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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