How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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