i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize