you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have aggressive nipples.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize