idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
