you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
