If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
